These 90s Games Would Be Prime For A Reboot

With the recent success of Doom and the generally positive reception to the Final Fantasy 7 remake announcement, I decided to take a trip down memory lane, purposely ignoring that part where we couldn’t get a date to the homecoming dance, in order to find games perfect for a modern day reboot.  Mind you, some things just don’t hold up like you remember them (I’m looking at you Boogerman) and others would not translate into today’s current gaming climate (two words: Duke Nukem).  Here we speculate on games that could make the leap from then to now and also on who could make this sweaty fever dream come true.

Chrono Trigger

Here’s Why:

With arguably a more compelling narrative than Final Fantasy 7, it would be amazing to see the old mechanics meld with something new for an all out remake. We already got a small taste of some fully realized anime cut scenes in the 2001 Playstation re-release, and they looked fantastic.  They could tack on, say, another eighty five endings, add a few dozen more playable characters, and did someone say DLC?  On second thought, maybe don’t do any of that, but just bring the look and feel of the game up to current standards.  Let’s just hope the FF7 reboot goes well enough to get Square to consider giving some of their other IPs the same treatment.

The People For The Job:

Let me preface this by saying that it would never happen not in a million billion years, but Atlas Games would be a fantastic publisher for this one.  With their incredible groundbreaking Persona series, Atlas is one of the only companies around that has been able to bring the classic jrpg into the modern age.  Yes, we would certainly want to have the original “dream team” involved that created the game consisting of Hironobu Sakaguchi (Final Fantasy), Yuji Horii (Dragon Quest), and Akira Toriyama (Dragon Ball).  They could oversee the whole project and make sure it won’t drive the fan boys into going all Lavos on us.  That said, the only way it would go down is if Square pulled a Konami and Atlas pulled a Sony on the Chrono Trigger IP.  We have a better chance of Donald Trump becoming presi-oh wait.  So yeah, it could happen.

Earthworm Jim

Here’s Why:

Between the very visually unique art styles, odd sense of humor, and loveable cast of characters (see Professor Monkey-For-A-Head), many fans old and new would flock to a well done reboot.  People are ready for an offbeat protagonist that could poke fun at the modern day super hero boom as well as current gaming culture.  Humor is tough to pull off in games, certainly, but as we’ve seen with the more recent South Park game, it can absolutely be done to epic proportions as long as the right people are attached to write it.  And, you know, underpants gnomes getting squashed by giant hairy ball sacks.  However, an aspect of Earthworm Jim that certainly does not hold up is its gameplay.  It had a high difficulty but was also just plain difficult to control at times and super glitchy leading to severe rage quits.  This aspect would need to be fixed for a proper reboot.

The People For The Job:

Get the Super Meat Boy guys (Edmund McMillen and Tommy Refense) on board to emulate the challenging nature of the old platformer combined with a slick gameplay style to make that difficulty fun for players.  Match that fun and challenging gameplay with the creative and hilarious writing of Ryan Ridley (Rick and Morty) to nail that wildly original Earthworm Jim style and then turn it on its head.  Rick and Morty explores genre in unique and often surprising ways and would be fantastic if applied to a commentary on modern gaming.

NBA Jam

Here’s Why:

With the advent of realistic sports games over the past decade in which you can dig into the logistics, micro manage your team off the playing field, and apply a vast knowledge of the sport to any given play, sometimes people like myself who barely understand the concept of a sport like basketball would still like to enjoy playing it virtually.  Also, I miss using a secret code to play as George Clinton.  Madden 16 won’t let me do that.  What in God’s name is an “hb slip screen”, and where’s my big head mode?  It would be refreshing at this point to get a sports game that didn’t force us to memorize a playbook in order to play it well.  Also, these games would be an absolute blast with an up to date on-line multiplayer interface.  BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!

The People For The Job:

Until about a year ago, the human race had not realized that we needed car soccer in our lives.  That is until 505 Games brought us Rocket League, the highly addictive three on three (see where I’m going here) online multiplayer game.  The matches are quick, three minutes to be exact.  There are tons of cosmetic unlocks for your automobile, a wide selection of arenas, and several different game modes to keep things interesting for the player.  If you’ve ever scored a goal in Rocket League and had the exhilarating sensation of seeing your and all the other cars flung into the air as the goal literally explodes from it, it’s not hard to see how they could nail the experience of being “on fire” in NBA Jam.  THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN!  I just like yelling that in random circumstances.  Note: try and avoid this during funerals.

 

Super Metroid

Here’s Why:

Most Nintendo fans would agree that a proper new 2-D side scrolling Metroid game announcement at this year’s E3 would be the greatest thing ever.  With the success of such games as Ori and the Blind Forest, Axiom Verge, and Shadow Complex, the demand for this type of game is clear. The joy of platforming one’s way through a gigantic map while obtaining new tools in order to proceed to unexplored areas is something that never seems to get old.  If I had a time machine that allowed me to go back to the exact moment that I gained double jump in Super Metroid for the very first time, I would wonder, “how can I reprogram this thing to travel back to 1920 and kill young Hitler?”  After that, I’d be double jumping through Zebes with the hugest smile on my face.

The People For The Job:

It would be incredibly cool if the OG writer and director Yoshio Sakamoto teamed up with From Software’s Hidetaka Miyazaki for this project.  The Souls series displays some of the most innovative, labyrinthine level design that would be fantastic for a new Metroid game, and the approach to creature design would meld nicely with the monstrous aliens found in Sakamoto’s masterpiece.  Switching over to a 2D platformer would also be a wonderful change of pace for the Dark Souls creator who has claimed to be finished with that IP. 

 

Crash Bandicoot

Here’s Why:

At this point, the name Sonic the Hedgehog is synonymous with the phrase “dumpster fire”, and Mario is happily resting atop his ivory throne as king of the video game mascots.  However, there is one lone bandicoot that has been hiding in the shadows waiting for his moment to spin back into our lives collecting the Wumpa Fruit of our hearts.  His name is Crash Bandicoot and he also has a pretty decent kart game in his resume if we want to go there as well.  Most owners of the original Playstation have a strong fondness for Crash, and I dare say that the games still hold up.  Besides, the PS4 is the only current console without a real mascot.  Nintendo has Mario, Microsoft has Master Chief, and PCs have Gabe Newell.

The People For The Job:

How mind blowing would it be if Naughty Dog applied their above par script writing, character development, and voice acting to something like a smart talking bandicoot and evil scientist delivering a story with depth and true heartfelt emotions?  The original plot is actually pretty complex and interesting.  Doctor Neo Cortex, in reaction to being ridiculed by his scientist colleagues, wanted to create an animal army to exact his revenge.  In doing so, he captured Crash from his natural habitat and performed horrible, forbidden experiments on him.  It’s pretty messed up.  I’m thinking they could have the new game set after Crash has already gone into retirement with Tawna, the lady bandicoot.  The thing is he has a long lost brother who shows up out of the blue for one last job.  Crash reluctantly says yes to this proposition, and they set off for a lost, secret pirate village.  It writes itself!!!

Silent Hill

Here’s Why:

We already got a taste of it with the now-defunct Silent Hills project that resulted in the release of P.T. aka Playable Teaser, a terrifying demo that gave us the best ghost ever to grace a video game (Lisa) along with a bloody refrigerator and a fetus in a sink.  What more could you want?!  Here’s what: a fully immersive VR experience.  With the recent advent of consumer-friendly virtual reality headsets, the time is now for a horror game that allows the player to spot ghosts and other horrors anywhere he or she looks.  On top of that, they could add in augmented reality to the experience have ghosts popping up in your own home, creating the most terrifying consumer experience since Rosie O’Donnell had her own talk show. 

The People For The Job:

Of course, we would want that Kojima/Guillermo Del Toro partnership back in full force for this one.  Give them as much time and money as they could ever need to get it done.  Since Kojima has already teamed with Sony, it would most likely happen on Playstation VR.  BUT the ideal scenario would be for Kojima to work with Steam for this one.  The HTC Vive has the capabilities for augmented reality as well as room scale tracking so that you could move around an environment for a more immersive experience.  It would be piss-your-pants terrifying and buddy, I would really like to piss my pants right about now.  Wait, I didn’t mean it like that.  Don’t judge me.